Saturday, August 23, 2014

Belief! It can ruin your life.

What if everything you believe is wrong? What if your beliefs are the root of your problem and not your upbringing, your parents or your traumatic experiences? In a world where people are seeking answers we are honouring a human tradition stemming from time immemorial. It is the very nature of man to seek truth and understanding but in the process we gain small amounts of information which instead of becoming a stepping stone to the next tasty morsel, becomes a belief that can so solidify in our minds that nothing, not even a glaring truth can shake it.

What is it in us that makes us so susceptible to belief in the first place? Belonging, justification, survival, control or perhaps, fear. No matter why we carry a belief it can be the basis of delusion and is often the justification for persecution of others, it is hard to actually find something positive to say about belief. For many it prevents healing themselves or even looking for the best solution while they stick with the one presented by someone selling a product or idea. For others it prevents happy healthy relationships because they believe they were unloved as children, no matter how many people loved them and showed them love and yet for more it can disarm motivation and a drive away the enjoyment of life until they believe the only solution is death when in fact it is not a solution it is an ending that is also the beginning of grief and recriminations for others, those very same others who loved them. 

Resolving issues can often come down to one thing, undermining an erroneous belief, it is the basis of all successful hypnotherapy sessions. The very fact that you believe your life’s miseries or failures can be blamed on something in your past or outside of yourself is a mistaken belief, believing you can’t talk about something is a mistaken belief, believing that no one understands you or your situation is perhaps more reflective of not wanting to be understood. Believing you can’t be healed is just as mistaken as believing you are broken in the first place. What beliefs do you have that you yourself can turn over in a moment of clarity, you may even have done so many times but returned to the belief as a safe haven for your own behaviours, your own lack of motivation, caring or untrustworthiness, your own lack of ability to make good choices or to take matters in hand and deal with underdeveloped areas in your character.

We do choose what we believe and as a choice it makes it clear that at any time we are proven wrong in a belief, we can choose again. The main obstacle to this would appear to be not wanting to be wrong as this forces us to rethink our whole attitude to life, and even take responsibility for all our actions and words to date. You can experience your ‘time of reckoning’ while alive and you can use it to develop who you are. We hear all the time, about those who turned their lives around, those who woke up one day and thought ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’, or ‘I don’t want to be like this anymore’. Magically their lives changed and yet others will apply their belief to that, they will say they found god, fell in love or faced their own mortality. The belief is less relevant than the one truth in these situations, that truth is the person undergoing the magical change decided to live life differently, they took responsibility for themselves and then thought, I can do life better than this, I can be better than this. 

The magic is usually painful and drawn from self-awareness, it is these people who are unique and free spirited as they have managed to dump the chains of belief to express who they are in a way they find more meaningful, more empowered.   Sometimes because they wanted something as in love, wanting love can change a person radically, so can nearly dying, but for many neither of these things change their choices, for the few who suspend belief long enough to know they have input into life situations, that their appreciation of life and others IS the magic that happens, it is the happiness anyone can experience it is the essence of feeling value where you may never have felt value before. Happy people are never asking what their life purpose is, they are never seeking to avoid challenges, they don’t hold on to grief nor hold angry communion with other angry fellows, they don’t spend their time contemplating life after death as a reward for this life,  they don’t have time for that as they are busy living. The most noticeable thing about happy people is, that when something doesn’t work for them anymore, they either change it or recognize the change in themselves, they constantly strive for depth of experience, depth of character and enjoyment of day to day life.

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